Approach Tasks with an Attitude That Suits You

Have you ever found yourself doing something in a particular way simply because that’s how everyone else expects it to be done? Learning to approach tasks your own way can make life and business much easier.

Or perhaps you’ve spent ages discussing something when, deep down, you already knew what you wanted to do.

We all have different ways of approaching tasks, making decisions and dealing with situations.

What works brilliantly for one person might be completely wrong for another.

And what works in one situation might not be the best approach in another.

The important thing is recognising what works for you.

Sometimes you need to change your approach

When we were planning a holiday to the Isles of Scilly, we needed to organise our accommodation.

Now, having organised group holidays before, I knew how easily something relatively straightforward could turn into endless discussions.

Trying to get everyone together on one call to discuss the options was a nightmare!

So this time, we decided to approach things differently.

We found three suitable accommodation options and gave everyone 48 hours to tell us which they preferred.

We also explained that if we hadn’t heard back, we’d make the decision and book the accommodation ourselves.

And guess what?

It worked!

I think we’d booked the accommodation within three days.

Everyone had the opportunity to contribute, but we didn’t spend weeks trying to get everyone together or waiting for a decision.

We simply approached the task in a way that worked for us.

It reminded me that when you approach tasks your own way, something complicated can suddenly become much simpler.

Not everyone works the way you do

I’ve experienced this in business too.

I once had a client whose attitude, expectations and lack of respect for my time and boundaries made working together increasingly difficult.

It wasn’t simply a case of having different ways of working.

Those differences were affecting how I felt about the work and taking up far more of my headspace than they should have.

Eventually, I made the decision to stop working with them.

And do you know what?

I felt so much lighter afterwards.

It wasn’t about proving who was right or wrong.

It was about recognising that the working relationship didn’t suit me.

I could have continued trying to accommodate their expectations, but at what cost?

Sometimes the right approach isn’t finding another way to make something work.

Sometimes it’s recognising that it isn’t working and doing something about it.

An invitation doesn’t have to be a group decision

We’ve also changed how we approach organising trips with friends.

Rather than trying to find something that everyone wants to do, Tom and I decide what we’d like to do first.

Then we invite other people to join us.

“We’re booking this. Would you like to come?”

It’s a straightforward invitation.

People can say yes if it appeals to them or no if it doesn’t.

We’re not asking everyone to agree on where we should go, when we should travel or what we should do.

We’re simply sharing our plans and giving them the opportunity to join us.

Of course, there are occasions when you need to make decisions together.

But not every plan needs to become a group project!

And there’s nothing wrong with making your own plans and inviting others along for the ride.

Don’t invite debate when you don’t need it

This is something I think we can all benefit from remembering.

If you’ve already made a decision, why invite a discussion about whether it’s the right one?

Sometimes we find ourselves explaining our choices, asking for opinions or looking for reassurance when we’ve already decided what we want to do.

But you don’t always need other people’s approval.

You don’t need someone else to agree with your decision to make it the right decision for you.

And you certainly don’t need to justify every choice you make.

There’s a difference between asking for advice because you genuinely want another perspective and asking for approval because you’re worried about what someone else might think.

If a decision affects other people, then of course their needs and feelings may need to be considered.

But when it’s your decision to make?

Make it.

You can listen to other people’s opinions without allowing them to dictate your choices.

You can’t please everyone

This is particularly important when you’re running your own business.

It’s natural to want to help people, provide a good service and keep your clients happy.

But that doesn’t mean you have to agree to everything.

Your approach won’t suit every client.

Your working hours won’t suit everyone.

And your decisions won’t always be the ones other people would make.

That’s OK.

The same applies outside business.

You don’t have to organise your life around everyone else’s preferences.

You can be considerate without constantly compromising what works for you. After all, there comes a point when being too flexible becomes a problem.

Doing what’s right for you isn’t the same as deliberately making things difficult for someone else.

And trying to please everyone can leave you feeling as though you’re pleasing nobody, particularly yourself.

Take control of what you can

When you approach tasks your own way, you can take more control of your time, headspace and energy.

There are plenty of things we can’t control.

We can’t control how other people behave, what they think or how they respond to our decisions.

But we can take more control of how we approach situations.

For me, three things are particularly important.

Your time

How much time are you spending on things that could be handled more simply? Are you planning around your own needs, or constantly adjusting your time to suit everyone else?

Could you make a decision rather than having another meeting?

Could you set a deadline rather than waiting indefinitely?

Could you approach a task differently and save yourself hours of unnecessary work?

Your headspace

Sometimes a situation takes up far more room in our thoughts than it deserves.

We replay conversations.

We wonder whether we’ve made the right decision.

We worry about what other people might think.

And all that thinking takes energy.

Sometimes making a decision and moving forward is exactly what we need to free up some of that headspace.

Your feelings

This one is a work in progress for me!

I recognise that I can’t always control how something makes me feel.

And I’d love to say that other people’s behaviour never affects my mood, but that wouldn’t be true.

What I am learning is to recognise those feelings and think about how I respond.

I can’t control someone else’s attitude.

But I can decide whether I want to continue putting myself in a situation that’s making me unhappy.

And I can work on not allowing someone else’s behaviour to dictate how I feel for the rest of the day.

It’s not always easy.

But recognising it is a start.

Being honest with yourself

I think one of the most important things we can do is recognise what actually works for us.

Not what we think should work.

Not what works for somebody else.

And not what we feel other people expect us to do.

What genuinely works for us.

Sometimes that means taking charge and making a decision.

Sometimes it means inviting other people to contribute.

Sometimes it means changing how we approach a task.

And sometimes it means accepting that something, or someone, simply isn’t the right fit.

There’s no single right or wrong way to approach every situation.

The trick is recognising which approach suits you and having the confidence to use it.

What approach suits you?

The next time you’re faced with a task or decision, ask yourself:

Am I approaching this in a way that works for me, or am I making it more complicated than it needs to be?

You don’t have to do things the way everyone else does.

You don’t always need agreement.

And you certainly don’t need approval for every decision you make.

Be considerate of others, but don’t forget to consider yourself.

Because being honest about what works for you can lead to a happier you.

And after all, it’s your time.

Shouldn’t you get to spend it your way?

Learning to approach tasks your own way isn’t about ignoring everyone else. It’s about recognising what works for you

How Full Is Your Sink? A Discussion about Emotional Overwhelm

How Full Is Your Sink?

No, I’m not asking whether you’ve done the washing up! I’m talking about a different kind of sink. One that we all have, although we can’t actually see it. A sink that helps explain emotional overwhelm and why sometimes even the smallest thing can feel like too much.

I’m talking about a different kind of sink. One that we all have, although we can’t actually see it.

Recently, during a conversation with Leo’s behaviourist, we were talking about emotional overwhelm and how different situations can affect his ability to cope.

She explained it using the analogy of a sink filling with water.

Different experiences and emotions turn on the taps, gradually filling the sink until there’s no room left.

And when the sink overflows, so do his emotions.

It got me thinking.

We’re not really that different, are we?

How full is your sink? And, perhaps more importantly, do you know how to empty it before it overflows?

What makes your sink fill up?

Imagine that everything you experience adds a little water to your sink.

Some days, there’s barely a trickle.

Other days, the taps seem to be running at full speed.

Work deadlines, family responsibilities, unexpected problems, financial worries, health issues or simply having too many things demanding your attention.

They can all add water to your sink.

And it’s not necessarily one big thing that causes a problem.

Sometimes it’s lots of little things.

An email that needs answering. A phone call that takes longer than expected. Something that doesn’t work the way it should. A change of plans when you’ve already organised your day.

Individually, none of them might be particularly difficult to deal with.

But together?

Drip, drip, drip.

Before you know it, the water is getting dangerously close to the top.

And then something else happens.

Something that, on a different day, you might have dealt with without giving it a second thought.

But today?

Your sink overflows.

How much water can your sink hold?

Here’s something else worth thinking about.

How much capacity has your sink actually got?

Because we’re not all working with the same-sized sink.

Some people seem to have enormous sinks. They can juggle multiple responsibilities, cope with unexpected changes and still have room for more.

Others have smaller sinks.

But there’s something else to consider.

Even your own sink doesn’t necessarily have the same amount of space available every day.

If you’ve slept badly, you’re feeling unwell, you’re in pain or you’ve already had an emotionally demanding week, there might already be water sitting in your sink before the day has even started.

Think about it in business.

You might comfortably manage five tasks on Monday but struggle with three on Thursday.

Does that mean you’ve suddenly become less productive?

Or does it mean that something else has already filled part of your sink?

Knowing how much capacity you’ve got available is far more useful than constantly trying to squeeze more in.

Which taps are running?

Now, imagine your sink has two taps. One hot and one cold.

Different emotions and experiences can turn on either tap.

Sometimes only one is running.

Sometimes they’re both running at once.

Perhaps you’re excited about a new opportunity but also worried about whether you’ve got enough time to deliver it.

Maybe you’re looking forward to an event but feeling anxious about something else that’s happening.

Or perhaps you’re enjoying spending time with friends but you’re already tired from a demanding week.

Emotions don’t necessarily arrive one at a time, neatly waiting for the previous one to disappear.

And here’s something I found particularly interesting.

It’s not only negative emotions that fill your sink.

Excitement, anticipation, celebrations and other positive experiences can all take energy.

You might have had a wonderful day, enjoyed every minute of it and still find yourself feeling completely overwhelmed afterwards.

Because even though the experiences were positive, your sink was still filling.

And when several taps are running at once, the water level can rise surprisingly quickly.

Just because the taps stop doesn’t mean the sink is empty

This is probably the part of the conversation with Leo’s behaviourist that got me thinking the most.

When Leo experiences something stressful, the effects don’t necessarily disappear as soon as the situation is over.

The tap might have stopped running, but there’s still water in his sink.

He needs time for that water level to drop before he’s ready to deal with something else.

And surely the same applies to us?

Think about a particularly demanding day.

You’ve finished work, dealt with whatever needed your attention and finally sat down.

Everything that was causing the stress has stopped.

So why don’t you immediately feel relaxed?

Perhaps because your sink is still full.

You might need time to process what’s happened, recover your energy or simply have a bit of space without anything else being added.

And the time needed won’t necessarily be the same every time.

Sometimes a few minutes might be enough.

Other times, you might need considerably longer.

Removing the thing that filled your sink doesn’t automatically empty it.

It’s worth remembering that when you’re wondering why you can’t immediately move on to the next thing.

So, how do you drain your sink?

This is where I think the analogy becomes particularly useful.

Because preventing your sink from overflowing isn’t necessarily about stopping everything from happening.

It’s about finding ways to let some of the water out.

And what works for one person won’t necessarily work for another.

For me, there are several things that help.

Sometimes it’s colouring. Concentrating on something creative gives my brain a chance to switch away from whatever has been occupying it.

Other times, it’s gardening, going for a walk or spending time with Leo.

And sometimes I need a complete change of environment.

A trip to the pub, different company or simply getting away from my desk can make an enormous difference.

The interesting thing is that the same activity doesn’t necessarily work every time.

Sometimes I want peace and quiet.

Other times, I need conversation and company.

It depends on what’s been filling my sink in the first place.

And that’s the important part.

Finding out what helps you.

Not what someone else thinks should help.

Not what you’ve been told is the best way to relax.

What actually makes a difference to your water level?

Don’t wait until your sink overflows

It’s easy to think we’ll take a break when everything is finished.

When the emails are answered.

When the deadline has passed.

When the house is tidy.

When we’ve caught up with everything.

But how often does everything actually get finished?

There’s usually something else waiting!

If we only allow ourselves time to empty our sinks when they’re already overflowing, we’re making life unnecessarily difficult.

What if we paid attention to the water level throughout the day instead? After all, listening to your body can help you recognise when something needs to change before you reach your limit.

Perhaps you notice that you’re becoming irritated by things that wouldn’t normally bother you.

Maybe you’re struggling to concentrate.

Or you’re finding it difficult to make a decision that would usually be straightforward.

Could those be signs that your sink is getting full?

And could taking ten minutes to do something that helps you be more useful than pushing on until you reach overflowing point?

Of course, we can’t always stop the taps.

Life doesn’t work like that.

There will always be responsibilities, unexpected situations and things that are outside our control.

But perhaps we can get better at recognising when we need to pull the plug and let some water out.

What does this mean for your business?

Running a business involves making decisions, dealing with people, managing expectations and responding to things you can’t always control.

And that’s before you start doing the work you’re actually being paid for!

It’s very easy to focus on how much you need to achieve without considering how much capacity you’ve got available.

But your business doesn’t operate separately from the rest of your life.

Everything shares the same sink.

That difficult conversation at home doesn’t magically disappear when you open your laptop.

Neither does a poor night’s sleep, worrying about someone you care about or recovering from an emotionally demanding experience.

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is recognise that your sink is getting full and adjust your plans accordingly. That’s why planning for your needs is just as important as planning for your business.

That might mean moving a task, asking for help, taking a break or deciding that something can wait.

It’s not about avoiding responsibilities.

It’s about managing them in a way that works for you.

And sometimes, recognising that you need help is part of finding a way to drain your sink.

How full is your sink today?

So, here’s something I’d like you to think about.

If you could see your emotional sink right now, what would it look like?

Is there plenty of room?

Is the water getting close to the top?

Or has it already started overflowing?

Which taps are running?

And, most importantly, what could you do today to let a little of that water out?

It doesn’t have to be something big.

Sometimes a small change is all that’s needed to create a little breathing space.

And remember, even when the taps have stopped, the water might take a while to drain.

It’s funny how a conversation about helping Leo manage his emotions has made me think more carefully about managing my own.

Because giving yourself your time, your way isn’t just about fitting more into your day.

Sometimes it’s about recognising when you’ve already got enough in your sink.

And giving yourself the time and space to let the water drain.

Small Business – Where Do You Get Your Inspiration?

Where do you get your inspiration for running a small business?

For me, one of the places is my garden.

During the summer, I love sitting on my swing seat, watching the clouds drift across the sky or simply enjoying the blue sky overhead. That’s something of a rarity at times!

I’m not sitting there deliberately trying to think of business ideas. Quite the opposite. I’m switching off, enjoying being outside and letting my mind wander.

Yet it’s surprising how often a thought pops into my head.

Sometimes it’s an idea for a blog. Other times, something I’ve experienced suddenly makes me think about a client conversation, a system I’m using or a different way of approaching something in Focus Guru.

And occasionally, it’s the other way around. Something I’ve learnt through running my business makes me look at an everyday situation differently.

Which got me wondering.

Where does inspiration actually come from?

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

One of the things I’ve learnt from running my own business is that you don’t know what you don’t know.

That might sound obvious, but how can you look for an answer when you don’t even know there’s a question worth asking?

It’s one of the reasons I enjoy conversations with other people.

Whether I’m talking to a client, attending a networking meeting, having a conversation with my coach or simply chatting with friends and family, there’s always the possibility of learning something new.

Sometimes someone shares an experience that makes me think about my own situation differently.

Other times, they ask a question I hadn’t considered, reminding me that seeking help can introduce ideas and perspectives I might otherwise have missed.

And occasionally, a conversation takes a completely unexpected direction and leaves me with an idea that has absolutely nothing to do with what we were originally discussing.

We all have different experiences, knowledge and ways of approaching things, and we don’t always interpret things in the same way.

And I find it fascinating how a conversation about one thing can lead to thoughts about something entirely different.

What Has Formula 1 Got to Do With Business?

Conversations aren’t the only things that get me thinking.

Sometimes it’s something I’m watching on television.

I’ve enjoyed Formula 1 for years, and there’s a quote from Ross Brawn that’s always stayed with me:

“Luck is preparation waiting for an opportunity.”

It’s an interesting thought, isn’t it?

How often do we describe something as lucky without considering everything that happened beforehand?

And then there’s the teamwork.

An F1 pit stop might take just 2.3 seconds, but behind those few seconds are hours of preparation, practice and people working together.

Formula 1 teams and equipment in the busy Monaco Grand Prix pit lane, showing the teamwork behind motor racing. — Behind the scenes at the Monaco Grand Prix in 2012. There’s a lot more to Formula 1 than what happens on the track!

Of course, things don’t always go according to plan.

Strategies fail, mistakes happen and occasionally teammates even collide with each other!

What interests me is how teams respond. The honesty, vulnerability, ownership and conversations that help them move forward.

Well, mostly!

I don’t watch Formula 1 looking for business inspiration. I watch it because I enjoy it.

But every now and then, something makes me think about how people work together, communicate or approach a problem.

And those thoughts sometimes find their way into Focus Guru.

Sometimes You Just Need to Look at Things Differently

Back to my swing seat.

As much as I love sitting on it, occasionally it needs cleaning.

And depending on how long it’s been since I last tackled the job, that can seem like quite a task.

The same goes for cleaning the patio.

Wooden garden swing seat on a stone patio before cleaning, showing an everyday task that inspired a different way of thinking. — Sometimes a job that looks enormous becomes much easier when you tackle it a little at a time.

When I look at the whole job, it’s easy to think about how much there is to do.

But I’ve realised that I approach these jobs in exactly the same way I approach larger projects in my business.

I break them down into smaller, manageable chunks.

Rather than thinking about cleaning the entire patio, I concentrate on one section.

Rather than tackling the whole swing seat, I focus on one part at a time.

Eventually, all those smaller sections add up to a completed job.

It’s something I regularly use when working with clients, but it took cleaning the swing seat and patio to make me realise just how naturally I’d started using the same approach in my personal life.

I hadn’t consciously decided to apply a business technique to cleaning the garden. It was simply how I’d approached the job, without stopping to wonder whether there was a right or wrong way to tackle it.

Which made me wonder how many other things I’ve picked up in one part of my life and carried into another without even noticing.

From a Passing Thought to a Blog

When an idea for a blog pops into my head, I tend to write it down immediately.

Usually, it’s nothing more than a heading. Just enough to capture the thought before it disappears.

At the moment, I’ve got 23 of those headings waiting for me to spend some time thinking about them.

During the summer, that thinking often happens on my swing seat in the garden.

Now that winter’s approaching, I suspect it’ll be in front of the wood fire instead.

Some of those headings will eventually become blogs. Others might take me in a completely different direction once I start exploring them.

And that’s part of what I enjoy.

I don’t always know where a thought is going to lead.

So, Where Do You Get Your Inspiration?

When I started thinking about where my inspiration comes from, I hadn’t realised quite how many different answers I’d come up with.

Some of them might seem like rather strange places to find inspiration for running a small business.

But perhaps that’s the interesting thing about inspiration.

You don’t always know where it’s going to come from, or even recognise it when it arrives.

Which has left me wondering…

Where do you get your inspiration? And has it ever come from somewhere that completely surprised you?

Swimming in a pool, in a lake, in the sea – is it all the same?

I can swim.

That sounds like a fairly straightforward statement, doesn’t it?

But recently, after a sea swim in Cornwall and Scilly, I started thinking about whether being able to swim actually means the same thing everywhere.

Because swimming in a pool, swimming in a lake and swimming in the sea all require the same basic ability.

You need to be able to swim.

But that doesn’t make them the same experience.

And, as it turns out, there are quite a few similarities between that and adapting in business.

Same Skill, Different Environment

In a swimming pool, there’s a certain amount of security.

You generally know how deep it is. You can see the edge. The water temperature is reasonably predictable. There are usually lifeguards around. There aren’t waves, currents, weeds or jellyfish to contend with.

You can concentrate on swimming.

Move that same swimmer into a lake and things change.

Lake surrounded by mountains showing a different swimming environment — The ability to swim might be the same, but the environment around you changes.

The bottom might suddenly disappear beneath you. There may be weeds brushing against your legs. The water temperature can be very different. You need to be more aware of where you are and what’s around you.

Then there’s the sea.

Sea swimming in Cornwall and adapting in business — The same swimming skills, but a very different environment.

Now you can add waves, currents, changing conditions and whatever else happens to be sharing the water with you.

I haven’t suddenly forgotten how to swim.

The basic skill is exactly the same.

But the environment changes what I need from that skill.

Ability Isn’t Always Enough

That got me thinking about business.

We often look at something we’ve done before and think:

I know how to do this.

And we probably do.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean we can approach it in exactly the same way this time.

A task for one client might technically be the same as a task for another, but the circumstances around it can be completely different.

One client might give you everything you need upfront. Another might need you to ask questions and gather information as you go.

One project might have plenty of time around it. Another might have a tighter deadline.

Sometimes you have clear boundaries and know exactly where you’re going.

Sometimes you’re metaphorically swimming through seaweed wondering what just touched your leg.

The skill hasn’t changed.

The environment has.

Sometimes You Need More Concentration

There was something else I noticed about swimming in different environments.

In a pool, I can switch off a bit.

I don’t have to think about every single thing I’m doing because the environment is controlled and familiar.

In open water, I can’t do that to the same extent.

I need to pay attention.

Where am I?

What’s the water doing?

How am I feeling?

Do I need to change what I’m doing?

And I think there’s a business lesson in that too.

Just because something is familiar doesn’t mean it will always require the same amount of concentration, time or energy.

There are days when a task I’ve done hundreds of times feels easy.

There are other days when exactly the same task requires much more from me.

And there are projects where the task itself isn’t particularly difficult, but everything surrounding it makes it more complicated.

That doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly become less capable.

It means I’m swimming in different water.

Adapting in Business: What Do You Need for This Particular Swim?

I think this is something we can forget when we’re running a business.

We judge ourselves by whether we can do something rather than looking at the conditions we’re trying to do it in.

Perhaps the better question isn’t:

Can I do this?

Perhaps it’s:

What do I need to be able to do this here?

Do I need more time?

More information?

Someone else’s expertise?

A different way of working?

Or simply fewer distractions so I can concentrate?

Being able to swim doesn’t mean every swim is the same.

And being capable of doing something in your business doesn’t mean you have to be able to do it in every situation, under every set of circumstances, in exactly the same way.

Sometimes you just need to recognise what sort of water you’re in.

Celebrate Your Wins

When did we stop celebrating the small stuff?

As children, we celebrate everything.

A child manages to put their socks on by themselves for the first time and we’re delighted. It doesn’t even matter if the socks are backwards. They did it!

Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, that changes.

We start deciding that achievements have to be a certain size before they count.

It’s only a small thing.

That’s just my job.

I should have done that anyway.

But why shouldn’t it count?

Big Wins, Small Wins

I celebrate wins.

That doesn’t mean I’m opening a bottle of champagne every time somebody pays an invoice. We’d have a problem if I did!

Celebrating can be as simple as messaging somebody to say, “I’ve done it!” It might be a happy dance, writing something down, wandering around the garden or having a cuddle with Leo.

And yes, if it’s a really big win, there might be champagne.

The size of the celebration doesn’t matter.

What matters is actually recognising that something went well.

Because a win doesn’t have one definition.

It changes depending on the person, the client, the business situation, your emotions and what’s happening in the rest of your life.

What Are You Not Celebrating?

Think about some of the things that happen in an ordinary working week.

Someone asks you for a 1:1.

A potential customer gives you buying signals.

Someone engages with something you’ve posted on social media.

A client recommends you.

A networking contact recommends you.

A customer pays you.

None of those necessarily mean you’ve won a new client there and then.

But they’re still wins.

That little notification telling you somebody has paid an invoice can give you a lovely hit of dopamine. Why shouldn’t you enjoy it?

And that conversation that didn’t result in a sale today might lead somewhere next week, next month or six months from now.

One of the difficulties when you’re self-employed is that sometimes you’re celebrating these things on your own. Someone who is employed might not understand why you’re excited because somebody has asked for a 1:1.

But you know what it could mean.

Celebrate it.

Sometimes the Win Is Headspace

Some of my wins probably sound even less exciting from the outside.

Getting my blogs scheduled ahead.

Reaching inbox zero.

Discovering a process that saves me time.

Finding a better way of doing something so I don’t have to keep remembering it.

They’re wins because they clear headspace.

An unfinished task doesn’t necessarily disappear when you stop actively thinking about it. It can sit there, loitering somewhere in your subconscious, waiting to remind you that you still haven’t done it.

Getting it finished, scheduled or into a process means I don’t have to carry it around in my head anymore.

Finding ways of planning for what you actually need can be an achievement in itself.

That’s worth celebrating.

Losing Something Can Be a Win Too

One of the things on my original list of wins was:

Sacking a client.

That might sound like an odd thing to celebrate.

But my business had changed. My target client had changed. The people I wanted to work with had changed.

That particular client no longer fitted.

Ending that relationship wasn’t a sign that my business was failing. It was part of growing my business, niching down and relieving some of the pressure I was putting on myself trying to meet client expectations that no longer fitted where I was going.

“Sometimes enough really is enough, and recognising that can be a win in itself.”

On the other side of that, winning a new client is absolutely something I’ll celebrate.

Yes, there’s the money.

And hopefully they’re somebody I’m really excited to work with.

But there’s something else I think we sometimes overlook:

They chose me.

Out of all the people they could have worked with, they decided that I was the person they wanted.

That’s worth a happy dance.

Your Wins Don’t Have to Be Business Wins

Business and life aren’t two completely separate boxes for me.

Business contacts become friends. Friends support businesses. Sometimes I can support a friend or colleague with something that helps them get a grant or move something forward.

That’s a win too.

And I’ve had a very recent reminder that celebrating what went well doesn’t mean pretending everything else was wonderful.

I’ve just come back from Sicily.

Three trips I really wanted to do were cancelled for reasons completely outside my control.

Was I disappointed?

Yes.

Properly disappointed about two of them.

I’m not going to pretend otherwise just so I can put a positive spin on it.

But that doesn’t cancel out the good bits either.

I Walked on Mount Etna!

Mount Etna smoking above vineyards in Sicily — A reminder that Mount Etna is very much an active volcano.

Volcanic landscape and trees on Mount Etna in Sicily — The landscape on Mount Etna – very different from anything I normally walk through!

That is definitely going on my wins list.

I walked around Mount Etna, including some narrow paths around the crater edges that pushed me well outside my comfort zone.

It was high.

Some of those paths were narrower than I would have liked.

And I did it.

The physical achievement was part of the win, but so was the experience itself.

The views were incredible.

View across the volcanic slopes and mountains from Mount Etna — And then there were the views. Wow.

It’s something I’ll probably never do again, which makes me even more pleased that I did it when I had the opportunity.

There were other lovely moments too.

The architecture. The scenery. Sitting colouring in the apartment garden, listening to the sounds around me with no technology.

Those things don’t make the cancelled trips less disappointing.

Both things can be true.

I can be disappointed about the things that didn’t happen and celebrate the things that did.

What If You Don’t Think You Have Any Wins?

This is where I want you to change the scale.

If you’re thinking, “That’s all very well, Rachael, but I haven’t done anything worth celebrating,” look back.

Where were you a year ago?

Three years ago?

Five years ago?

What’s different now?

Sometimes it’s only when you look backwards that you realise those realistic dreams and ambitions you were working towards have actually started to happen.

What have you learned? What have you changed? What have you got through?

And if you’re at a really low ebb, make the scale smaller still.

I’ve worked with people who didn’t think they’d achieved anything.

Then they started looking at what they’d actually done.

They got up.

They had a wash.

They cleaned their teeth.

They got dressed.

They had a conversation.

When life is difficult, those things can be achievements.

We happily celebrate the child who puts their socks on by themselves for the first time, even if they’re backwards.

Perhaps, as adults, we need to give ourselves permission to do the same.

Your win doesn’t need to impress anybody else.

It doesn’t have to make money.

It doesn’t have to be enormous.

And you certainly don’t need champagne every time.

Although sometimes…

Champagne is entirely appropriate. 🥂

What does your dream actually look like?

When somebody talks about their dreams or ambitions, what comes into your head?

A bigger business?

More money?

A book with your name on the cover?

A qualification?

Some enormous milestone that you can proudly announce to the world?

Those can absolutely be dreams. But they aren’t the only kind.

I’ve been thinking recently about some of the things I’ve watched clients achieve.

For one person, becoming a published author and having their own ISBN number was an ambition.

I’ve watched Steph graduate with her MA and then go on to apply for a professorship.

I’ve watched newsletters go from something that needed to happen to something that actually went out — and, in one case, receive that exciting first response.

I’ve also watched a client realise that the relationship they’ve built with their clients means far more than simply the money changing hands.

They’re very different achievements.

And that’s rather the point.

What does the dream actually look like?

When I think about my own dreams, they’re probably not what you’d expect to find in a business plan.

I don’t have massive financial dreams for Focus Guru.

Of course I need the business to earn enough. Money matters. There are bills to pay and a life to fund.

But more and more and more isn’t what I’m aiming for.

I dream of having enough.

Enough money each month.

Enough time.

Enough freedom.

That’s really what having my time, my way means to me.

Time with Leo.

UK holidays.

Friendships.

Hobbies.

Laughter.

Support.

That’s the life I want my business to allow me to have.

For somebody else, success might be building a huge company, employing a team or reaching a particular turnover.

Great.

But it isn’t my dream. Because, just as there isn’t always a right and a wrong way to do something, there isn’t one correct version of success either.

And I think that’s an important distinction.

Does every dream need to be SMART?

We’re often told that goals should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.

There’s certainly a place for that.

But does every dream have to be SMART?

I don’t think it does.

How do I measure having enough laughter in my life?

What’s the deadline for maintaining good friendships?

How do I put a number against having time with Leo or enjoying my hobbies?

Some dreams are financial or professional.

Some are emotional.

Some are about wellbeing.

Some are about family, friendships or simply how you want your everyday life to feel.

Not everything that matters can — or should — be squeezed into a measurable target.

Perhaps the dream doesn’t need to be SMART.

The steps you take towards it might be.

But it does need to be your dream

There’s something else that’s important.

The dream has to be yours.

Not something you’re aiming for because somebody else has told you that’s what success looks like.

And it needs to be based on the things you can control.

You can’t make somebody else behave differently.

You can’t guarantee that every opportunity will work out exactly as you want it to.

But you can decide what you want your own life or business to look like.

Then you can start identifying the things you can do to move towards it.

That might mean making a big change.

Or it might mean lots of very small ones.

You don’t necessarily have to get there alone

Sometimes the difficult part isn’t achieving the dream.

It’s identifying what the dream actually is.

You might know that something needs to change, but not quite know what you want instead.

Or perhaps you know exactly what you want, but it feels too big to tackle.

That’s when seeking help can make a difference. Sometimes somebody else can see the route forward that you can’t see for yourself.

They might help you identify what you’re actually trying to achieve.

They might help you break it down into manageable steps.

Or perhaps you’ve already done all of that and what you really need is some accountability to make sure those steps actually happen.

Accountability isn’t about somebody else deciding what you should achieve.

It’s about helping you move towards something you have decided matters.

Because realistic doesn’t have to mean small.

And ambition doesn’t have to mean earning more, growing bigger or constantly chasing the next thing.

Sometimes the dream is simply having enough.

Enough money.

Enough time.

Enough people around you.

Enough laughter.

Enough of the things that make your life feel like yours.

So, what does your dream actually look like?

Solopreneur – The Power Is in a Team!

Being a solopreneur sounds very… solo.

But I’ve come to realise that being a solopreneur doesn’t mean you have to do everything alone.

In fact, support for solopreneurs can be one of the most important parts of running a business — whether that’s practical help, friendship, encouragement or simply having someone who understands.

You run the business.

You make the decisions.

You deal with the clients.

You decide what happens next.

And ultimately, the responsibility sits with you.

But I’ve come to realise that being a solopreneur doesn’t mean you have to do everything alone.

In fact, I think having the right people around you can be one of the most important parts of running a business.

Some Mornings You Just Need Your People

This morning didn’t exactly start brilliantly.

A 1:1 I’d planned for was cancelled.

Something I’d bought to improve the way I work was dismissed as something we could have done more cheaply.

And some client work I was expecting hadn’t arrived.

None of these things individually was disastrous.

My business hadn’t suddenly fallen apart.

There wasn’t an emergency to solve.

But added together?

They left me feeling thoroughly deflated.

And that’s one of the strange things about working for yourself.

If I’d been employed in an office, I might have turned to the person at the next desk and said:

“Well, this morning’s going well…”

We’d have had a five-minute moan, probably laughed about something completely unrelated, and then got back to work.

As a solopreneur, there isn’t necessarily somebody sitting at the next desk.

That’s why you need to create your own version of it.

My Secret Squirrels

I have a small group of business friends we affectionately call the Secret Squirrels.

I’m not going to tell you what makes the squirrels secret — because then they wouldn’t be very secret, would they?

Toy squirrel representing the Secret Squirrels support network — Some things are staying secret… 🐿️

But I can tell you about the people.

There’s Sheena , Claire , Jo and Angie

We’re all running our own businesses.

We’re all doing different things.

And we certainly don’t spend our time having formal business meetings and presenting quarterly reports to one another.

Sometimes we brainstorm.

Sometimes somebody needs another pair of eyes on something.

Sometimes there’s a difficult client conversation or a frustrating situation that needs to be shared with people who understand.

Sometimes there’s good news that deserves celebrating.

And sometimes somebody shares something completely ridiculous and we all laugh.

That’s part of the support too.

Why Support for Solopreneurs Matters

There are things about running a business that are difficult to explain to somebody who has never done it.

The excitement when an enquiry comes in.

The disappointment when something you thought was definite disappears.

The client who makes your day.

The client who makes you want to hide under your desk.

The idea that arrives when you’re supposed to be doing something completely different.

The days when you’re absolutely convinced you’ve got this.

And the days when you wonder what on earth you’re doing.

Having other business owners around you means you don’t always have to explain the background before you can talk about the thing that’s actually bothering you.

They get it.

They’ve probably experienced their own version of it.

And sometimes simply hearing “Yep, I’ve had one of those days too” is enough.

Your Team Doesn’t Have to Work for You

When we talk about building a team in business, we often immediately think about employees, associates, VAs or outsourcing.

And yes, they can absolutely be part of your team.

But I think there’s another kind of team that’s just as important.

The people who support you.

Your team might include people you see regularly in person.

It might include people you’ve met through networking.

It could be people hundreds of miles away who you mostly talk to online.

It could even include AI. FocusBot has certainly become part of mine — particularly when I need to get everything out of my head, work through an idea or turn “I’ve got all this going on” into something I can actually tackle.

But AI doesn’t replace the people.

Because sometimes I don’t need an answer.

I need a conversation.

Sometimes I don’t need a solution.

I need somebody to listen.

Sometimes I don’t need someone to make the frustration disappear.

I just want someone who understands why I’m frustrated in the first place.

Friendship Has a Place in Business

There’s another element we don’t talk about enough.

Friendship.

Not every business relationship needs to be about referrals, collaborations, opportunities or what somebody can do for you.

Some of the most valuable relationships I’ve developed through running Focus Guru have become friendships.

We know what’s happening in one another’s businesses.

But we also know what’s happening outside them.

We share the successes and the frustrations.

We can talk seriously when we need to.

And we can be completely daft when we don’t.

Support for solopreneurs doesn’t always need to have a measurable business outcome to be valuable.e.

Sometimes feeling less alone is the value.

Solo Doesn’t Have to Mean Alone

I am a solopreneur.

Focus Guru is my business and ultimately the decisions about it are mine.

But I don’t run it completely alone.

I have people I can brainstorm with.

People I can ask questions.

People I can celebrate with.

People I can be frustrated with.

People who will listen.

People who will make me laugh.

And yes, occasionally a FocusBot that will help me untangle the contents of my brain.

That’s my team.

Yours doesn’t need to look anything like mine.

It doesn’t need a name.

It doesn’t need scheduled meetings.

It doesn’t even need everyone to know they’re part of it.

But I think support for solopreneurs matters, and we all need people around us who provide encouragement, conversation and friendship.

Because there’s power in being a solopreneur.

But there’s even more power in knowing you don’t have to do it alone.

The Hidden Cost of Saying Yes

It’s OK to Say No

Saying no has never come naturally to me.

Like many business owners, I wanted to help everyone.

Every opportunity sounded exciting.

Every client enquiry felt like something I should make work.

Every invitation deserved a yes.

For years I thought saying yes made me helpful.

What I didn’t realise was that every yes was quietly creating a no somewhere else.

Every Yes Has a Hidden Cost

It’s easy to think of “no” as negative.

We worry we’ll disappoint people.

Miss opportunities.

Damage relationships.

Lose business.

But every decision works both ways.

When you say yes to one thing, you’re automatically saying no to something else.

Maybe you’re saying no to an evening with your family.

No to walking the dog before it gets too hot.

No to taking a proper lunch break.

No to finishing work at a sensible time.

No to simply having the energy you need tomorrow.

We all work differently, and protecting your time isn’t about doing less—it’s about choosing what works best for you. That’s exactly what I explored in Your Time, Your Way, No Squirrels

The question isn’t whether you’ll say no.

It’s what you’re choosing to say no to.

Leo walks away from a tennis ball in the garden, illustrating that not every opportunity needs to be accepted. — Just because something is offered doesn’t mean you have to take it.

Looking Back

When I look back over the past few years, some of the best decisions I’ve made started with saying no.

I’ve turned down clients who weren’t the right fit.

I’ve ended working relationships that no longer served either of us.

I’ve stopped doing Christmas markets.

I no longer answer messages late into the evening just because my phone happens to be nearby.

None of those decisions felt comfortable at the time.

Every one created space for something better.

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t deciding to say no—it’s recognising that enough is enough. That’s something I’ve written about before, because noticing when you’ve reached your limit is often the first step towards making better decisions.

Ask Yourself One Simple Question

Instead of asking:

“Can I say yes?”

Try asking yourself:

What am I saying no to if I accept this?
Is that trade-off worth it?

Sometimes the answer will be yes.

Sometimes it won’t.

Neither answer is wrong.

There isn’t always a single right answer. Often the better question is whether the choice is right for you, which is something I discussed in Is There a Right and a Wrong Way?

What’s important is making the choice consciously.

The Opportunities You Never See

One thing I’ve noticed is that we often focus on the opportunities we might lose by saying no.

We rarely notice the opportunities we create.

The hour you protected becomes time to finish a project.

The client you declined leaves space for one who’s a much better fit.

The same applies to how freely we give our time and expertise. Helping people is important, but so is recognising when constantly giving stops being helpful—for you or for them. I explored that balance in When Is Sharing Not Caring?

The weekend you kept free gives you the energy to enjoy Monday again.

Those opportunities are quieter.

But they’re often the ones that matter most.

Before Your Next Yes…

The next time you’re about to agree to something, pause for a moment.

Not because saying yes is bad.

Because every yes has a price.

Ask yourself:

What will this yes require me to say no to?

If you’re happy with that answer, say yes with confidence.

If you’re not…

It’s perfectly OK to say no.

Working Smarter Sometimes Means Leaving Your Desk

There is something slightly ironic about writing a business blog while sitting in the garden.

It’s 11 o’clock in the morning.

The sky is crystal blue.

The temperature has already reached 29°C.

Inside my office, the air barely moves. My computer quietly pumps more heat into the room, and after half an hour I’m distracted, uncomfortable and counting down until I can escape.

Yet outside…

I’m productive.

Not because I’m working harder.

Because I’m working differently.

The Myth That Work Only Happens at a Desk

For years we’ve been taught that “real work” happens sitting at a desk.

Computer on.

Office chair.

Monitor.

Hours of uninterrupted concentration.

But self-employment gives us something many jobs don’t.

Choice.

It allows us to ask a much better question:

What is the best environment for this particular task?

Because not every piece of work needs a computer.

Different Tasks Need Different Spaces

Writing one of my finished blogs?

That needs my computer.

Formatting.

Editing.

Adding links.

Uploading to WordPress.

But creating the ideas?

Planning the structure?

Working out the stories I want to tell?

That happens brilliantly with nothing more than a notebook and a pen.

No notifications.

No emails.

No temptation to “just quickly” reply to one message before carrying on.

Just space to think.

No Squirrels

If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know I often talk about squirrels.

They’re those little distractions that pull us away from what we intended to do.

Checking emails.

Opening social media.

Looking up one tiny fact…

…which somehow turns into twenty minutes of reading something completely unrelated.

Outside, with just a notebook, there aren’t many squirrels.

There’s nothing asking for my attention except the page in front of me.

Ironically, walking away from my office often helps me focus far more than staying in it.

Productivity Doesn’t Always Look Productive

This morning I wasn’t rushing.

I wasn’t typing.

I wasn’t staring at spreadsheets.

I was simply writing bullet points.

Thinking.

Watching the garden.

Listening to birds singing.

View across a peaceful summer garden with acer trees and blue sky where I planned blog ideas away from my desk. — The view that inspired this blog. Sometimes the best ideas don’t come from sitting at a desk—they come from giving yourself space to think.

Hearing Leo happily rustling around the plants before inevitably deciding that chasing the neighbour’s cat was far more important than helping me work.

From the outside, it probably didn’t look like work at all.

But by the time I go back indoors, I’ll have several blog outlines ready to turn into finished articles.

That means less time sitting in front of a hot computer later today.

Working With Yourself Instead of Against Yourself

I’ve learned something over the years.

When I stop forcing myself to work the way I think I should, I usually get far more done.

If it’s too hot in the office, perhaps that’s the perfect time to plan rather than type.

If I need a break, I might water the vegetables before coming back with a clearer head.

If my brain needs fresh air, perhaps fresh air is exactly what it should get.

That’s not avoiding work.

That’s making work fit me.

Your Time. Your Way.

One of the biggest advantages of running your own business isn’t simply choosing your own hours.

It’s choosing how you use those hours.

Your most productive place might be a quiet office.

It might be a coffee shop.

It might be the kitchen table.

Or, like me on a hot summer’s day, it might be sitting in the garden with nothing but a notebook, a pen and the occasional interruption from a dog who thinks squirrels, leaves and cats are all equally fascinating.

Productivity isn’t about looking busy.

It’s about creating the environment where your best work can happen.

With a family wedding in the Isles of Scilly just around the corner, there are lots of little jobs competing for my attention. Spending a morning planning blog ideas outside means I’ll have less computer time later in the week, leaving more energy for everything else that needs doing.

Sometimes that means sitting at your desk.

Sometimes it means walking away from it.

And sometimes…

It simply means your time, your way… with no squirrels.

When the Door is Locked

Some changes happen so gradually that you don’t notice them.

Others arrive with a very obvious clunk.

Recently, one of those happened in our house.

Leo, our rescue dog who has taught me more than a few business lessons over the years, wandered over.

Except this time…

The door was locked.

That was new.

The First Response: Keep Trying

Leo didn’t immediately understand what had changed.

He nudged the door.

Looked around.

Whined.

Tried again.

Surely if he just pushed a little harder, the door would open like it always had.

It didn’t.

Watching him made me smile, but it also made me think about business.

How often do we do exactly the same thing?

A client changes direction.

A networking opportunity disappears.

An enquiry doesn’t turn into work.

A marketing strategy that once worked suddenly doesn’t.

And instead of accepting what’s changed, we keep pushing on the same locked door.

Frustration Comes Before Acceptance

It’s completely natural.

We invest time, energy and emotion into opportunities.

When they stop working, our first instinct is often frustration.

We wonder what we’re doing wrong.

We push harder.

We knock louder.

We try one more email.

One more post.

One more conversation.

All because we’re hoping the door will suddenly unlock again.

The Moment of Realisation

Eventually Leo stopped.

He realised the door wasn’t going to open.

Nothing he did was going to change that.

It wasn’t about trying harder.

The situation itself had changed.

Once he accepted that, something interesting happened.

He simply wandered off, settled down and went to sleep.

Problem solved.

Review. Refine. Monitor.

That simple moment reminded me of something I try to apply in my own business.

When something isn’t working, I don’t want to keep throwing time and energy at it indefinitely.

Instead, I try to:

Review what’s changed.
Refine my approach if needed.
Monitor the results before deciding what to do next.

Sometimes the answer is persistence.

Sometimes the answer is improvement.

And sometimes…

The answer is recognising that the door really is locked.

Not Every Door Needs Opening

One of the hardest lessons in business is accepting that not every opportunity is meant to stay open forever.

Clients leave.

Projects end.

Strategies become outdated.

Markets change.

None of those things automatically mean we’ve failed.

Often they simply mean it’s time to stop standing outside one locked door and notice the others that are already open.

Leo figured that out surprisingly quickly.

Once he accepted the situation, he stopped wasting energy trying to change something he couldn’t control.

There are days when I think we could all learn a little from that.

Ready to make your business work your way?

If this article has sparked an idea, highlighted a challenge, or simply made you stop and think, let’s have a chat. I offer a free, no-obligation discovery call where we can explore what’s working well, what’s getting in your way, and whether I can help you save time and create systems that fit the way you work.

👉 Book your free discovery call here: https://tidycal.com/3zd5zj1/blog-discovery-call-clone20250506083047