Category: Business

Approach Tasks with an Attitude That Suits You

Have you ever found yourself doing something in a particular way simply because that’s how everyone else expects it to be done? Learning to approach tasks your own way can make life and business much easier.

Or perhaps you’ve spent ages discussing something when, deep down, you already knew what you wanted to do.

We all have different ways of approaching tasks, making decisions and dealing with situations.

What works brilliantly for one person might be completely wrong for another.

And what works in one situation might not be the best approach in another.

The important thing is recognising what works for you.

Sometimes you need to change your approach

When we were planning a holiday to the Isles of Scilly, we needed to organise our accommodation.

Now, having organised group holidays before, I knew how easily something relatively straightforward could turn into endless discussions.

Trying to get everyone together on one call to discuss the options was a nightmare!

So this time, we decided to approach things differently.

We found three suitable accommodation options and gave everyone 48 hours to tell us which they preferred.

We also explained that if we hadn’t heard back, we’d make the decision and book the accommodation ourselves.

And guess what?

It worked!

I think we’d booked the accommodation within three days.

Everyone had the opportunity to contribute, but we didn’t spend weeks trying to get everyone together or waiting for a decision.

We simply approached the task in a way that worked for us.

It reminded me that when you approach tasks your own way, something complicated can suddenly become much simpler.

Not everyone works the way you do

I’ve experienced this in business too.

I once had a client whose attitude, expectations and lack of respect for my time and boundaries made working together increasingly difficult.

It wasn’t simply a case of having different ways of working.

Those differences were affecting how I felt about the work and taking up far more of my headspace than they should have.

Eventually, I made the decision to stop working with them.

And do you know what?

I felt so much lighter afterwards.

It wasn’t about proving who was right or wrong.

It was about recognising that the working relationship didn’t suit me.

I could have continued trying to accommodate their expectations, but at what cost?

Sometimes the right approach isn’t finding another way to make something work.

Sometimes it’s recognising that it isn’t working and doing something about it.

An invitation doesn’t have to be a group decision

We’ve also changed how we approach organising trips with friends.

Rather than trying to find something that everyone wants to do, Tom and I decide what we’d like to do first.

Then we invite other people to join us.

“We’re booking this. Would you like to come?”

It’s a straightforward invitation.

People can say yes if it appeals to them or no if it doesn’t.

We’re not asking everyone to agree on where we should go, when we should travel or what we should do.

We’re simply sharing our plans and giving them the opportunity to join us.

Of course, there are occasions when you need to make decisions together.

But not every plan needs to become a group project!

And there’s nothing wrong with making your own plans and inviting others along for the ride.

Don’t invite debate when you don’t need it

This is something I think we can all benefit from remembering.

If you’ve already made a decision, why invite a discussion about whether it’s the right one?

Sometimes we find ourselves explaining our choices, asking for opinions or looking for reassurance when we’ve already decided what we want to do.

But you don’t always need other people’s approval.

You don’t need someone else to agree with your decision to make it the right decision for you.

And you certainly don’t need to justify every choice you make.

There’s a difference between asking for advice because you genuinely want another perspective and asking for approval because you’re worried about what someone else might think.

If a decision affects other people, then of course their needs and feelings may need to be considered.

But when it’s your decision to make?

Make it.

You can listen to other people’s opinions without allowing them to dictate your choices.

You can’t please everyone

This is particularly important when you’re running your own business.

It’s natural to want to help people, provide a good service and keep your clients happy.

But that doesn’t mean you have to agree to everything.

Your approach won’t suit every client.

Your working hours won’t suit everyone.

And your decisions won’t always be the ones other people would make.

That’s OK.

The same applies outside business.

You don’t have to organise your life around everyone else’s preferences.

You can be considerate without constantly compromising what works for you. After all, there comes a point when being too flexible becomes a problem.

Doing what’s right for you isn’t the same as deliberately making things difficult for someone else.

And trying to please everyone can leave you feeling as though you’re pleasing nobody, particularly yourself.

Take control of what you can

When you approach tasks your own way, you can take more control of your time, headspace and energy.

There are plenty of things we can’t control.

We can’t control how other people behave, what they think or how they respond to our decisions.

But we can take more control of how we approach situations.

For me, three things are particularly important.

Your time

How much time are you spending on things that could be handled more simply? Are you planning around your own needs, or constantly adjusting your time to suit everyone else?

Could you make a decision rather than having another meeting?

Could you set a deadline rather than waiting indefinitely?

Could you approach a task differently and save yourself hours of unnecessary work?

Your headspace

Sometimes a situation takes up far more room in our thoughts than it deserves.

We replay conversations.

We wonder whether we’ve made the right decision.

We worry about what other people might think.

And all that thinking takes energy.

Sometimes making a decision and moving forward is exactly what we need to free up some of that headspace.

Your feelings

This one is a work in progress for me!

I recognise that I can’t always control how something makes me feel.

And I’d love to say that other people’s behaviour never affects my mood, but that wouldn’t be true.

What I am learning is to recognise those feelings and think about how I respond.

I can’t control someone else’s attitude.

But I can decide whether I want to continue putting myself in a situation that’s making me unhappy.

And I can work on not allowing someone else’s behaviour to dictate how I feel for the rest of the day.

It’s not always easy.

But recognising it is a start.

Being honest with yourself

I think one of the most important things we can do is recognise what actually works for us.

Not what we think should work.

Not what works for somebody else.

And not what we feel other people expect us to do.

What genuinely works for us.

Sometimes that means taking charge and making a decision.

Sometimes it means inviting other people to contribute.

Sometimes it means changing how we approach a task.

And sometimes it means accepting that something, or someone, simply isn’t the right fit.

There’s no single right or wrong way to approach every situation.

The trick is recognising which approach suits you and having the confidence to use it.

What approach suits you?

The next time you’re faced with a task or decision, ask yourself:

Am I approaching this in a way that works for me, or am I making it more complicated than it needs to be?

You don’t have to do things the way everyone else does.

You don’t always need agreement.

And you certainly don’t need approval for every decision you make.

Be considerate of others, but don’t forget to consider yourself.

Because being honest about what works for you can lead to a happier you.

And after all, it’s your time.

Shouldn’t you get to spend it your way?

Learning to approach tasks your own way isn’t about ignoring everyone else. It’s about recognising what works for you

How Full Is Your Sink? A Discussion about Emotional Overwhelm

How Full Is Your Sink?

No, I’m not asking whether you’ve done the washing up! I’m talking about a different kind of sink. One that we all have, although we can’t actually see it. A sink that helps explain emotional overwhelm and why sometimes even the smallest thing can feel like too much.

I’m talking about a different kind of sink. One that we all have, although we can’t actually see it.

Recently, during a conversation with Leo’s behaviourist, we were talking about emotional overwhelm and how different situations can affect his ability to cope.

She explained it using the analogy of a sink filling with water.

Different experiences and emotions turn on the taps, gradually filling the sink until there’s no room left.

And when the sink overflows, so do his emotions.

It got me thinking.

We’re not really that different, are we?

How full is your sink? And, perhaps more importantly, do you know how to empty it before it overflows?

What makes your sink fill up?

Imagine that everything you experience adds a little water to your sink.

Some days, there’s barely a trickle.

Other days, the taps seem to be running at full speed.

Work deadlines, family responsibilities, unexpected problems, financial worries, health issues or simply having too many things demanding your attention.

They can all add water to your sink.

And it’s not necessarily one big thing that causes a problem.

Sometimes it’s lots of little things.

An email that needs answering. A phone call that takes longer than expected. Something that doesn’t work the way it should. A change of plans when you’ve already organised your day.

Individually, none of them might be particularly difficult to deal with.

But together?

Drip, drip, drip.

Before you know it, the water is getting dangerously close to the top.

And then something else happens.

Something that, on a different day, you might have dealt with without giving it a second thought.

But today?

Your sink overflows.

How much water can your sink hold?

Here’s something else worth thinking about.

How much capacity has your sink actually got?

Because we’re not all working with the same-sized sink.

Some people seem to have enormous sinks. They can juggle multiple responsibilities, cope with unexpected changes and still have room for more.

Others have smaller sinks.

But there’s something else to consider.

Even your own sink doesn’t necessarily have the same amount of space available every day.

If you’ve slept badly, you’re feeling unwell, you’re in pain or you’ve already had an emotionally demanding week, there might already be water sitting in your sink before the day has even started.

Think about it in business.

You might comfortably manage five tasks on Monday but struggle with three on Thursday.

Does that mean you’ve suddenly become less productive?

Or does it mean that something else has already filled part of your sink?

Knowing how much capacity you’ve got available is far more useful than constantly trying to squeeze more in.

Which taps are running?

Now, imagine your sink has two taps. One hot and one cold.

Different emotions and experiences can turn on either tap.

Sometimes only one is running.

Sometimes they’re both running at once.

Perhaps you’re excited about a new opportunity but also worried about whether you’ve got enough time to deliver it.

Maybe you’re looking forward to an event but feeling anxious about something else that’s happening.

Or perhaps you’re enjoying spending time with friends but you’re already tired from a demanding week.

Emotions don’t necessarily arrive one at a time, neatly waiting for the previous one to disappear.

And here’s something I found particularly interesting.

It’s not only negative emotions that fill your sink.

Excitement, anticipation, celebrations and other positive experiences can all take energy.

You might have had a wonderful day, enjoyed every minute of it and still find yourself feeling completely overwhelmed afterwards.

Because even though the experiences were positive, your sink was still filling.

And when several taps are running at once, the water level can rise surprisingly quickly.

Just because the taps stop doesn’t mean the sink is empty

This is probably the part of the conversation with Leo’s behaviourist that got me thinking the most.

When Leo experiences something stressful, the effects don’t necessarily disappear as soon as the situation is over.

The tap might have stopped running, but there’s still water in his sink.

He needs time for that water level to drop before he’s ready to deal with something else.

And surely the same applies to us?

Think about a particularly demanding day.

You’ve finished work, dealt with whatever needed your attention and finally sat down.

Everything that was causing the stress has stopped.

So why don’t you immediately feel relaxed?

Perhaps because your sink is still full.

You might need time to process what’s happened, recover your energy or simply have a bit of space without anything else being added.

And the time needed won’t necessarily be the same every time.

Sometimes a few minutes might be enough.

Other times, you might need considerably longer.

Removing the thing that filled your sink doesn’t automatically empty it.

It’s worth remembering that when you’re wondering why you can’t immediately move on to the next thing.

So, how do you drain your sink?

This is where I think the analogy becomes particularly useful.

Because preventing your sink from overflowing isn’t necessarily about stopping everything from happening.

It’s about finding ways to let some of the water out.

And what works for one person won’t necessarily work for another.

For me, there are several things that help.

Sometimes it’s colouring. Concentrating on something creative gives my brain a chance to switch away from whatever has been occupying it.

Other times, it’s gardening, going for a walk or spending time with Leo.

And sometimes I need a complete change of environment.

A trip to the pub, different company or simply getting away from my desk can make an enormous difference.

The interesting thing is that the same activity doesn’t necessarily work every time.

Sometimes I want peace and quiet.

Other times, I need conversation and company.

It depends on what’s been filling my sink in the first place.

And that’s the important part.

Finding out what helps you.

Not what someone else thinks should help.

Not what you’ve been told is the best way to relax.

What actually makes a difference to your water level?

Don’t wait until your sink overflows

It’s easy to think we’ll take a break when everything is finished.

When the emails are answered.

When the deadline has passed.

When the house is tidy.

When we’ve caught up with everything.

But how often does everything actually get finished?

There’s usually something else waiting!

If we only allow ourselves time to empty our sinks when they’re already overflowing, we’re making life unnecessarily difficult.

What if we paid attention to the water level throughout the day instead? After all, listening to your body can help you recognise when something needs to change before you reach your limit.

Perhaps you notice that you’re becoming irritated by things that wouldn’t normally bother you.

Maybe you’re struggling to concentrate.

Or you’re finding it difficult to make a decision that would usually be straightforward.

Could those be signs that your sink is getting full?

And could taking ten minutes to do something that helps you be more useful than pushing on until you reach overflowing point?

Of course, we can’t always stop the taps.

Life doesn’t work like that.

There will always be responsibilities, unexpected situations and things that are outside our control.

But perhaps we can get better at recognising when we need to pull the plug and let some water out.

What does this mean for your business?

Running a business involves making decisions, dealing with people, managing expectations and responding to things you can’t always control.

And that’s before you start doing the work you’re actually being paid for!

It’s very easy to focus on how much you need to achieve without considering how much capacity you’ve got available.

But your business doesn’t operate separately from the rest of your life.

Everything shares the same sink.

That difficult conversation at home doesn’t magically disappear when you open your laptop.

Neither does a poor night’s sleep, worrying about someone you care about or recovering from an emotionally demanding experience.

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is recognise that your sink is getting full and adjust your plans accordingly. That’s why planning for your needs is just as important as planning for your business.

That might mean moving a task, asking for help, taking a break or deciding that something can wait.

It’s not about avoiding responsibilities.

It’s about managing them in a way that works for you.

And sometimes, recognising that you need help is part of finding a way to drain your sink.

How full is your sink today?

So, here’s something I’d like you to think about.

If you could see your emotional sink right now, what would it look like?

Is there plenty of room?

Is the water getting close to the top?

Or has it already started overflowing?

Which taps are running?

And, most importantly, what could you do today to let a little of that water out?

It doesn’t have to be something big.

Sometimes a small change is all that’s needed to create a little breathing space.

And remember, even when the taps have stopped, the water might take a while to drain.

It’s funny how a conversation about helping Leo manage his emotions has made me think more carefully about managing my own.

Because giving yourself your time, your way isn’t just about fitting more into your day.

Sometimes it’s about recognising when you’ve already got enough in your sink.

And giving yourself the time and space to let the water drain.

Swimming in a pool, in a lake, in the sea – is it all the same?

I can swim.

That sounds like a fairly straightforward statement, doesn’t it?

But recently, after a sea swim in Cornwall and Scilly, I started thinking about whether being able to swim actually means the same thing everywhere.

Because swimming in a pool, swimming in a lake and swimming in the sea all require the same basic ability.

You need to be able to swim.

But that doesn’t make them the same experience.

And, as it turns out, there are quite a few similarities between that and adapting in business.

Same Skill, Different Environment

In a swimming pool, there’s a certain amount of security.

You generally know how deep it is. You can see the edge. The water temperature is reasonably predictable. There are usually lifeguards around. There aren’t waves, currents, weeds or jellyfish to contend with.

You can concentrate on swimming.

Move that same swimmer into a lake and things change.

Lake surrounded by mountains showing a different swimming environment
The ability to swim might be the same, but the environment around you changes.

The bottom might suddenly disappear beneath you. There may be weeds brushing against your legs. The water temperature can be very different. You need to be more aware of where you are and what’s around you.

Then there’s the sea.

Sea swimming in Cornwall and adapting in business
The same swimming skills, but a very different environment.

Now you can add waves, currents, changing conditions and whatever else happens to be sharing the water with you.

I haven’t suddenly forgotten how to swim.

The basic skill is exactly the same.

But the environment changes what I need from that skill.

Ability Isn’t Always Enough

That got me thinking about business.

We often look at something we’ve done before and think:

I know how to do this.

And we probably do.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean we can approach it in exactly the same way this time.

A task for one client might technically be the same as a task for another, but the circumstances around it can be completely different.

One client might give you everything you need upfront. Another might need you to ask questions and gather information as you go.

One project might have plenty of time around it. Another might have a tighter deadline.

Sometimes you have clear boundaries and know exactly where you’re going.

Sometimes you’re metaphorically swimming through seaweed wondering what just touched your leg.

The skill hasn’t changed.

The environment has.

Sometimes You Need More Concentration

There was something else I noticed about swimming in different environments.

In a pool, I can switch off a bit.

I don’t have to think about every single thing I’m doing because the environment is controlled and familiar.

In open water, I can’t do that to the same extent.

I need to pay attention.

Where am I?

What’s the water doing?

How am I feeling?

Do I need to change what I’m doing?

And I think there’s a business lesson in that too.

Just because something is familiar doesn’t mean it will always require the same amount of concentration, time or energy.

There are days when a task I’ve done hundreds of times feels easy.

There are other days when exactly the same task requires much more from me.

And there are projects where the task itself isn’t particularly difficult, but everything surrounding it makes it more complicated.

That doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly become less capable.

It means I’m swimming in different water.

Adapting in Business: What Do You Need for This Particular Swim?

I think this is something we can forget when we’re running a business.

We judge ourselves by whether we can do something rather than looking at the conditions we’re trying to do it in.

Perhaps the better question isn’t:

Can I do this?

Perhaps it’s:

What do I need to be able to do this here?

Do I need more time?

More information?

Someone else’s expertise?

A different way of working?

Or simply fewer distractions so I can concentrate?

Being able to swim doesn’t mean every swim is the same.

And being capable of doing something in your business doesn’t mean you have to be able to do it in every situation, under every set of circumstances, in exactly the same way.

Sometimes you just need to recognise what sort of water you’re in.

Celebrate Your Wins

When did we stop celebrating the small stuff?

As children, we celebrate everything.

A child manages to put their socks on by themselves for the first time and we’re delighted. It doesn’t even matter if the socks are backwards. They did it!

Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, that changes.

We start deciding that achievements have to be a certain size before they count.

It’s only a small thing.

That’s just my job.

I should have done that anyway.

But why shouldn’t it count?

Big Wins, Small Wins

I celebrate wins.

That doesn’t mean I’m opening a bottle of champagne every time somebody pays an invoice. We’d have a problem if I did!

Celebrating can be as simple as messaging somebody to say, “I’ve done it!” It might be a happy dance, writing something down, wandering around the garden or having a cuddle with Leo.

And yes, if it’s a really big win, there might be champagne.

The size of the celebration doesn’t matter.

What matters is actually recognising that something went well.

Because a win doesn’t have one definition.

It changes depending on the person, the client, the business situation, your emotions and what’s happening in the rest of your life.

What Are You Not Celebrating?

Think about some of the things that happen in an ordinary working week.

Someone asks you for a 1:1.

A potential customer gives you buying signals.

Someone engages with something you’ve posted on social media.

A client recommends you.

A networking contact recommends you.

A customer pays you.

None of those necessarily mean you’ve won a new client there and then.

But they’re still wins.

That little notification telling you somebody has paid an invoice can give you a lovely hit of dopamine. Why shouldn’t you enjoy it?

And that conversation that didn’t result in a sale today might lead somewhere next week, next month or six months from now.

One of the difficulties when you’re self-employed is that sometimes you’re celebrating these things on your own. Someone who is employed might not understand why you’re excited because somebody has asked for a 1:1.

But you know what it could mean.

Celebrate it.

Sometimes the Win Is Headspace

Some of my wins probably sound even less exciting from the outside.

Getting my blogs scheduled ahead.

Reaching inbox zero.

Discovering a process that saves me time.

Finding a better way of doing something so I don’t have to keep remembering it.

They’re wins because they clear headspace.

An unfinished task doesn’t necessarily disappear when you stop actively thinking about it. It can sit there, loitering somewhere in your subconscious, waiting to remind you that you still haven’t done it.

Getting it finished, scheduled or into a process means I don’t have to carry it around in my head anymore.

Finding ways of planning for what you actually need can be an achievement in itself.

That’s worth celebrating.

Losing Something Can Be a Win Too

One of the things on my original list of wins was:

Sacking a client.

That might sound like an odd thing to celebrate.

But my business had changed. My target client had changed. The people I wanted to work with had changed.

That particular client no longer fitted.

Ending that relationship wasn’t a sign that my business was failing. It was part of growing my business, niching down and relieving some of the pressure I was putting on myself trying to meet client expectations that no longer fitted where I was going.

“Sometimes enough really is enough, and recognising that can be a win in itself.”

On the other side of that, winning a new client is absolutely something I’ll celebrate.

Yes, there’s the money.

And hopefully they’re somebody I’m really excited to work with.

But there’s something else I think we sometimes overlook:

They chose me.

Out of all the people they could have worked with, they decided that I was the person they wanted.

That’s worth a happy dance.

Your Wins Don’t Have to Be Business Wins

Business and life aren’t two completely separate boxes for me.

Business contacts become friends. Friends support businesses. Sometimes I can support a friend or colleague with something that helps them get a grant or move something forward.

That’s a win too.

And I’ve had a very recent reminder that celebrating what went well doesn’t mean pretending everything else was wonderful.

I’ve just come back from Sicily.

Three trips I really wanted to do were cancelled for reasons completely outside my control.

Was I disappointed?

Yes.

Properly disappointed about two of them.

I’m not going to pretend otherwise just so I can put a positive spin on it.

But that doesn’t cancel out the good bits either.

I Walked on Mount Etna!

Mount Etna smoking above vineyards in Sicily
A reminder that Mount Etna is very much an active volcano.
Volcanic landscape and trees on Mount Etna in Sicily
The landscape on Mount Etna – very different from anything I normally walk through!

That is definitely going on my wins list.

I walked around Mount Etna, including some narrow paths around the crater edges that pushed me well outside my comfort zone.

It was high.

Some of those paths were narrower than I would have liked.

And I did it.

The physical achievement was part of the win, but so was the experience itself.

The views were incredible.

View across the volcanic slopes and mountains from Mount Etna
And then there were the views. Wow.

It’s something I’ll probably never do again, which makes me even more pleased that I did it when I had the opportunity.

There were other lovely moments too.

The architecture. The scenery. Sitting colouring in the apartment garden, listening to the sounds around me with no technology.

Those things don’t make the cancelled trips less disappointing.

Both things can be true.

I can be disappointed about the things that didn’t happen and celebrate the things that did.

What If You Don’t Think You Have Any Wins?

This is where I want you to change the scale.

If you’re thinking, “That’s all very well, Rachael, but I haven’t done anything worth celebrating,” look back.

Where were you a year ago?

Three years ago?

Five years ago?

What’s different now?

Sometimes it’s only when you look backwards that you realise those realistic dreams and ambitions you were working towards have actually started to happen.

What have you learned? What have you changed? What have you got through?

And if you’re at a really low ebb, make the scale smaller still.

I’ve worked with people who didn’t think they’d achieved anything.

Then they started looking at what they’d actually done.

They got up.

They had a wash.

They cleaned their teeth.

They got dressed.

They had a conversation.

When life is difficult, those things can be achievements.

We happily celebrate the child who puts their socks on by themselves for the first time, even if they’re backwards.

Perhaps, as adults, we need to give ourselves permission to do the same.

Your win doesn’t need to impress anybody else.

It doesn’t have to make money.

It doesn’t have to be enormous.

And you certainly don’t need champagne every time.

Although sometimes…

Champagne is entirely appropriate. 🥂

Solopreneur – The Power Is in a Team!

Being a solopreneur sounds very… solo.

But I’ve come to realise that being a solopreneur doesn’t mean you have to do everything alone.

In fact, support for solopreneurs can be one of the most important parts of running a business — whether that’s practical help, friendship, encouragement or simply having someone who understands.

You run the business.

You make the decisions.

You deal with the clients.

You decide what happens next.

And ultimately, the responsibility sits with you.

But I’ve come to realise that being a solopreneur doesn’t mean you have to do everything alone.

In fact, I think having the right people around you can be one of the most important parts of running a business.

Some Mornings You Just Need Your People

This morning didn’t exactly start brilliantly.

A 1:1 I’d planned for was cancelled.

Something I’d bought to improve the way I work was dismissed as something we could have done more cheaply.

And some client work I was expecting hadn’t arrived.

None of these things individually was disastrous.

My business hadn’t suddenly fallen apart.

There wasn’t an emergency to solve.

But added together?

They left me feeling thoroughly deflated.

And that’s one of the strange things about working for yourself.

If I’d been employed in an office, I might have turned to the person at the next desk and said:

“Well, this morning’s going well…”

We’d have had a five-minute moan, probably laughed about something completely unrelated, and then got back to work.

As a solopreneur, there isn’t necessarily somebody sitting at the next desk.

That’s why you need to create your own version of it.

My Secret Squirrels

I have a small group of business friends we affectionately call the Secret Squirrels.

I’m not going to tell you what makes the squirrels secret — because then they wouldn’t be very secret, would they?

Toy squirrel representing the Secret Squirrels support network
Some things are staying secret… 🐿️

But I can tell you about the people.

There’s Sheena , Claire , Jo  and Angie 

We’re all running our own businesses.

We’re all doing different things.

And we certainly don’t spend our time having formal business meetings and presenting quarterly reports to one another.

Sometimes we brainstorm.

Sometimes somebody needs another pair of eyes on something.

Sometimes there’s a difficult client conversation or a frustrating situation that needs to be shared with people who understand.

Sometimes there’s good news that deserves celebrating.

And sometimes somebody shares something completely ridiculous and we all laugh.

That’s part of the support too.

Why Support for Solopreneurs Matters

There are things about running a business that are difficult to explain to somebody who has never done it.

The excitement when an enquiry comes in.

The disappointment when something you thought was definite disappears.

The client who makes your day.

The client who makes you want to hide under your desk.

The idea that arrives when you’re supposed to be doing something completely different.

The days when you’re absolutely convinced you’ve got this.

And the days when you wonder what on earth you’re doing.

Having other business owners around you means you don’t always have to explain the background before you can talk about the thing that’s actually bothering you.

They get it.

They’ve probably experienced their own version of it.

And sometimes simply hearing “Yep, I’ve had one of those days too” is enough.

Your Team Doesn’t Have to Work for You

When we talk about building a team in business, we often immediately think about employees, associates, VAs or outsourcing.

And yes, they can absolutely be part of your team.

But I think there’s another kind of team that’s just as important.

The people who support you.

Your team might include people you see regularly in person.

It might include people you’ve met through networking.

It could be people hundreds of miles away who you mostly talk to online.

It could even include AI. FocusBot has certainly become part of mine — particularly when I need to get everything out of my head, work through an idea or turn “I’ve got all this going on” into something I can actually tackle.

But AI doesn’t replace the people.

Because sometimes I don’t need an answer.

I need a conversation.

Sometimes I don’t need a solution.

I need somebody to listen.

Sometimes I don’t need someone to make the frustration disappear.

I just want someone who understands why I’m frustrated in the first place.

Friendship Has a Place in Business

There’s another element we don’t talk about enough.

Friendship.

Not every business relationship needs to be about referrals, collaborations, opportunities or what somebody can do for you.

Some of the most valuable relationships I’ve developed through running Focus Guru have become friendships.

We know what’s happening in one another’s businesses.

But we also know what’s happening outside them.

We share the successes and the frustrations.

We can talk seriously when we need to.

And we can be completely daft when we don’t.

Support for solopreneurs doesn’t always need to have a measurable business outcome to be valuable.e.

Sometimes feeling less alone is the value.

Solo Doesn’t Have to Mean Alone

I am a solopreneur.

Focus Guru is my business and ultimately the decisions about it are mine.

But I don’t run it completely alone.

I have people I can brainstorm with.

People I can ask questions.

People I can celebrate with.

People I can be frustrated with.

People who will listen.

People who will make me laugh.

And yes, occasionally a FocusBot that will help me untangle the contents of my brain.

That’s my team.

Yours doesn’t need to look anything like mine.

It doesn’t need a name.

It doesn’t need scheduled meetings.

It doesn’t even need everyone to know they’re part of it.

But I think support for solopreneurs matters, and we all need people around us who provide encouragement, conversation and friendship.

Because there’s power in being a solopreneur.

But there’s even more power in knowing you don’t have to do it alone.

Why Seeking Help in Business Isn’t a Sign of Failure

There comes a point when trying harder simply isn’t enough.

That’s exactly where we found ourselves with Leo.

When he first came to us, we threw ourselves into helping him.

We watched videos.

We read books.

We listened to podcasts.

We spoke to other dog owners.

We tried different techniques.

Some things helped.

Some made no difference.

Some accidentally made things worse.

Like many people, my instinct was to solve the problem myself.

After all, that’s what capable people do… isn’t it?

Eventually, I realised something important.

It was a bit like learning to listen to your body – the signs had been there for a while, but I was so focused on trying to fix the problem that I wasn’t really noticing them.

I wasn’t struggling because I wasn’t trying hard enough.

I was struggling because I didn’t yet have the knowledge or experience to understand why Leo behaved the way he did.

That’s when we contacted a veterinary behaviourist.

Not because we’d failed.

Because we wanted to give Leo the very best chance possible.

Sometimes Experience Matters More Than Effort

Working with a behaviourist wasn’t a magic fix.

There wasn’t one session where everything suddenly changed.

Instead, we learnt.

We began to understand his triggers.

We recognised what wasn’t helping.

We adjusted our routines.

Perhaps most importantly, we learnt to slow down and observe before reacting.

That lesson has stayed with me far beyond dog training. Sometimes the answer isn’t to do more; it’s to understand more first. That’s something I explore further in my blog about Leo – Take Time to Assess a Situation.

Only then did Leo begin to change too.

The Same Thing Happens in Business

I see exactly the same thing in business.

There are countless things we can do ourselves.

Build a website.

Manage the bookkeeping.

Design graphics.

Write social media posts.

Create systems.

Learn marketing.

Some people genuinely enjoy all of those things.

Many don’t.

The challenge is that we often spend weeks, months or even years trying to solve a problem that someone with the right experience could help us understand in a fraction of the time.

Seeking help in business isn’t about finding someone to do everything for you.

It’s about recognising when someone else’s knowledge can help you move forwards more quickly, avoid costly mistakes or simply give you a different perspective.

Asking for Help Isn’t a Weakness

One of the biggest misconceptions in business is that asking for help somehow means you’re less capable.

I think the opposite is true.

Confident business owners know what they’re good at.

They also know what they’re not.

That’s why they surround themselves with people who can fill the gaps.

Sometimes that support is practical.

Sometimes it’s accountability.

Sometimes it’s someone asking the difficult questions you’ve been avoiding.

Sometimes it’s simply having someone to push you when you’ve convinced yourself you can’t take the next step.

Nobody succeeds entirely on their own.

Different Situations Need Different Skills

Another lesson Leo taught me is that experience doesn’t always transfer as easily as we think.

Someone can be an excellent dog owner and still need help with a rescue dog who has experienced trauma.

It’s no different to business.

Just because you’ve successfully managed one challenge doesn’t automatically mean you’ll know how to tackle the next.

It’s a little like asking whether swimming in a pool, in a lake or in the sea is really the same thing.

The basic skill may be identical.

The environment changes everything.

The conditions are different.

The risks are different.

And what worked perfectly before may no longer be enough.

Recognising that isn’t failure.

It’s wisdom.

Staying True to Yourself

Ironically, seeking help in business doesn’t make your business any less authentic.

In fact, it often makes it more authentic.

When you stop trying to become an expert in everything, you have more time and energy to focus on the things that genuinely make your business yours.

That’s how your customers know your business truly came from you.

Not because you’ve done absolutely everything yourself, but because the parts that matter most still reflect who you are, your values and the experience you want your customers to have.

The Lesson Leo Taught Me

Leo still isn’t the dog we imagined we’d have.

He’s something much better.

He’s taught us patience.

He’s taught us perspective.

And perhaps most importantly, he’s taught us that asking for expert help isn’t admitting defeat.

It’s giving yourself—and those who depend on you—the very best opportunity to succeed.

The same is true in business.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn’t trying harder.

It’s recognising you don’t have to do it alone.

Ready to make your business work your way?

If this article has sparked an idea, highlighted a challenge, or simply made you stop and think, let’s have a chat. I offer a free, no-obligation discovery call where we can explore what’s working well, what’s getting in your way, and whether I can help you save time and create systems that fit the way you work.

👉 Book your free discovery call here: https://tidycal.com/3zd5zj1/blog-discovery-call-clone20250506083047

Everyone Interprets the Same Thing Differently

You’re standing by the hotel pool.

The sun is shining.

The loungers are lined up neatly.

And scattered across them are towels.

Somebody has been up early.

Very early.

The interesting thing isn’t that the towels are there.

It’s how differently people interpret what they mean.

One person sees a towel and thinks:

“That’s fine. They’ve saved their seat.”

Another person looks at exactly the same towel and thinks:

“That’s not saving a seat. That’s claiming one.”

Same towel.

Same sunbed.

Same situation.

Completely different interpretation.

Everyone interprets the same thing differently, and that simple reality affects far more business conversations than we realise.

And it got me thinking about how often this happens in business.

We Rarely See Things Exactly As They Are

The reason everyone interprets the same thing differently is that we all view situations through our own experiences, beliefs and expectations.

Most of us assume we’re looking at facts.

In reality, we’re often looking at facts through our own experiences, values and beliefs.

What seems obvious to one person can look completely different to somebody else.

The towel on the sunbed isn’t really the issue.

The interpretation is.

One person sees planning.

Another sees selfishness.

One sees organisation.

Another sees unfairness.

Neither person is necessarily looking at a different situation.

They’re simply viewing it through a different lens.

Business Is Full of Towels on Sunbeds

Business owners encounter this every day.

You send a short email because you’re busy.

One person reads it as efficient.

Another reads it as abrupt.

You delay replying because you’re gathering information.

One person sees professionalism.

Another sees poor communication.

You decline an opportunity because your diary is already full.

One person sees strong boundaries.

Another sees a lack of interest.

The action is the same.

The interpretation changes.

Pair of glasses with different coloured lenses showing the same object from two different perspectives

Why Misunderstandings Happen

When everyone interprets the same thing differently, misunderstandings become almost inevitable unless we stop to check our assumptions.

Most disagreements don’t start because somebody deliberately set out to cause a problem.

They start because people make assumptions.

We fill in gaps.

We attach meaning.

We tell ourselves stories about what something means.

Often without checking whether our interpretation is correct.

The more experience we have, the more likely we are to do it.

Because our brains like shortcuts.

They help us make quick decisions.

But they can also lead us to completely the wrong conclusion.

The Danger of Assuming Everyone Thinks Like You

One of the biggest mistakes business owners make is assuming everybody interprets situations the same way they do.

They don’t.

Your clients won’t.

Your suppliers won’t.

Your team won’t.

Your networking contacts won’t.

Your family certainly won’t.

What feels perfectly clear in your head may not be clear to anyone else.

And what feels completely obvious to somebody else may never have crossed your mind.

That’s why good communication matters so much.

Not because it guarantees everyone will agree.

But because it reduces the chance of misunderstanding.

Curiosity Beats Assumption

When something frustrates us, it’s tempting to decide what it means.

The better option is often to ask.

To be curious.

To gather more information before jumping to conclusions.

The person who placed the towel on the sunbed may have perfectly reasonable reasons for doing so.

Or they may not.

But until we know, we’re only guessing.

The same applies in business.

Before assuming somebody is ignoring you, ask.

Before assuming somebody isn’t interested, ask.

Before assuming somebody is difficult, ask.

Questions usually provide better answers than assumptions.

Final Thoughts

Understanding that everyone interprets the same thing differently has helped me become more curious and less certain when communication feels unclear.

The longer I run a business, the more I realise that many disagreements aren’t caused by bad intentions.

They’re caused by different interpretations.

Two people can witness exactly the same event and walk away with completely different conclusions.

The towel is still just a towel.

The situation is still the same.

What changes is the meaning we attach to it.

So the next time you find yourself feeling certain about what somebody meant, pause for a moment.

And ask yourself:

“Am I reacting to what happened, or to my interpretation of what happened?”

Because those aren’t always the same thing.

After all, everyone interprets the same thing differently, even when they’re looking at exactly the same facts. 🐿️

Ready to make your business work your way?

If this article has sparked an idea, highlighted a challenge, or simply made you stop and think, let’s have a chat. I offer a free, no-obligation discovery call where we can explore what’s working well, what’s getting in your way, and whether I can help you save time and create systems that fit the way you work.

👉 Book your free discovery call here: https://tidycal.com/3zd5zj1/blog-discovery-call-clone20250506083047

When Is Sharing Not Caring?

We often hear the phrase “sharing is caring.”

Most of the time, that’s true.

Sharing knowledge helps people learn.

Sharing opportunities helps people grow.

Sharing experiences helps people avoid mistakes.

But sometimes, sharing isn’t caring at all.

Sometimes, despite the best intentions, sharing simply creates more work, more decisions, and more pressure for the person on the receiving end.

The Sicily Holiday That Wasn’t Really About Sicily

Recently, I found myself trying to organise a holiday.

Like many group decisions, accommodation options started appearing.

One suggestion became two.

Two became five.

Five became ten.

Everyone involved was trying to help.

Nobody was being difficult.

Nobody was trying to make things harder.

In fact, everyone was doing exactly the opposite.

They were sharing options because they cared.

The problem was that every new option created another decision.

Every link needed opening.

Every property needed comparing.

Every suggestion required thought and consideration.

Instead of getting closer to a decision, the decision was getting bigger.

Leo the rescue dog standing at patio doors deciding whether to go outside into the garden
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t finding more options—it’s choosing one.

The Hidden Cost of More Choices

We often assume that more options are better.

More information.

More possibilities.

More flexibility.

But every option comes with a hidden cost.

It requires time.

It requires attention.

It requires mental energy.

And all three are limited resources.

The more options somebody has to process, the more work you’ve unintentionally handed back to them.

This Happens in Business Too

This isn’t just about holidays.

It happens in business every day.

A business owner asks for a recommendation and receives twenty possibilities.

A client asks a simple question and receives a detailed list of every possible answer.

Someone asks for advice and ends up with so many suggestions they don’t know where to start.

The intention is usually generous.

The outcome is often overwhelm.

Sometimes what people need isn’t more information.

They need clarity.

Helping Isn’t Always About Adding More

When we’re trying to help, it’s easy to think our role is to contribute more.

Another idea.

Another suggestion.

Another option.

Another possibility.

But sometimes the most valuable thing we can do is reduce the choices.

Narrow the field.

Make a recommendation.

Help somebody move forwards.

Because progress rarely comes from having endless options.

Progress comes from making decisions.

Protecting Time and Energy

One thing I’ve become increasingly aware of is that every decision has a cost.

Not a financial cost.

A mental cost.

Decision-making takes energy.

Research takes energy.

Comparison takes energy.

If somebody is already busy, overwhelmed, or carrying a heavy workload, adding more options may not be helping at all.

It may simply be creating another task they didn’t need.

A Better Question

Before sharing something, it can be helpful to ask:

“Am I making this easier or harder?”

Sometimes the answer is obvious.

Sometimes it isn’t.

But it’s a useful question to consider.

Because caring isn’t about how much information we provide.

It’s about whether the information genuinely helps.

Final Thoughts

Sharing can absolutely be caring.

But only when it serves the person receiving it.

Sometimes sharing knowledge is helpful.

Sometimes sharing opportunities is helpful.

Sometimes sharing experiences is helpful.

And sometimes the kindest thing we can do is stop searching for more options and support a decision that’s already good enough.

Because often what people need most isn’t another possibility.

It’s permission to move forwards.

Ready to make your business work your way?

If this article has sparked an idea, highlighted a challenge, or simply made you stop and think, let’s have a chat. I offer a free, no-obligation discovery call where we can explore what’s working well, what’s getting in your way, and whether I can help you save time and create systems that fit the way you work.

👉 Book your free discovery call here: https://tidycal.com/3zd5zj1/blog-discovery-call-clone20250506083047

Enough Is Enough When… Enough Is Enough

One of the challenges of self-employment is knowing when to stop.

Not when to give up.

Not when to lower your standards.

Not when to stop caring.

Simply when to recognise that something is good enough and it is time to move on.

Many business owners struggle with this because there is always one more thing that could be improved.

One more tweak.

One more edit.

One more check.

One more hour.

The problem is that if everything can always be improved, nothing ever feels finished.

But How Do You Know What Is Enough?

That is the difficult question.

Enough might be:

  • The situation
  • Your mindset
  • How you are feeling
  • Your gut instinct
  • Your health
  • Where you spend your time
  • Where you spend your money
  • Your activities
  • Your ambition
  • Your goals

The answer is different for every person and every situation.

What feels enough for one business owner may feel completely inadequate to another.

The danger comes when you become so focused on finding the perfect answer that you never make a decision at all.

The Cost of Constant Improvement

Perfection has a habit of disguising itself as productivity.

You convince yourself that you are working.

You are researching.

Checking.

Comparing.

Tweaking.

Refining.

Preparing.

But sometimes all that activity is simply delaying a decision.

A website sits unpublished because it is not quite ready.

A service never launches because there is still more work to do.

A proposal stays in drafts because it could be improved further.

Meanwhile, opportunities pass by while you are still trying to make things perfect.

Enough Is Often a Moving Target

What was enough six months ago may not be enough now.

That is normal.

Businesses evolve.

People grow.

Goals change.

The important thing is recognising that “enough” is not a fixed destination.

It is a decision.

A conscious choice to say:

“This is good enough for where I am today.”

You can always improve something later.

You cannot get back the time spent endlessly revisiting the same decision.

Black shepherd-type dog standing at patio doors looking out into the garden, representing reflection, decision-making, and knowing when to move forward.
Sometimes the hardest decision is recognising you’ve done enough and it’s time to move forward.

Learning to Trust Yourself

Sometimes the hardest part is trusting your own judgement.

Trusting that you have done enough research.

Written enough words.

Spent enough money.

Made enough improvements.

Prepared enough.

Because eventually there comes a point where no amount of extra checking will provide certainty.

You simply have to decide.

And that decision is often what moves your business forward.

A Question Worth Asking

If you are stuck on something right now, ask yourself:

Am I genuinely improving this, or am I delaying a decision because I am uncomfortable making it?

The answer may tell you everything you need to know.

Because sometimes enough really is enough.

And recognising that can be one of the most productive decisions you make.

Ready to make your business work your way?

If this article has sparked an idea, highlighted a challenge, or simply made you stop and think, let’s have a chat. I offer a free, no-obligation discovery call where we can explore what’s working well, what’s getting in your way, and whether I can help you save time and create systems that fit the way you work.

👉 Book your free discovery call here: https://tidycal.com/3zd5zj1/blog-discovery-call-clone20250506083047

When Does Flexibility Become a Problem in Business?

Flexibility is often seen as a positive in business.

Being accommodating.
Being easy to work with.
Giving people options.
Trying to make things convenient.

And in many cases, that flexibility is genuinely helpful.

But there comes a point where “being flexible” quietly starts creating stress, uncertainty, and extra mental load — especially when you’re self-employed.

Because flexibility isn’t always free.

Sometimes, it comes at the expense of your time, your energy, and your ability to properly focus on your own work.

Illustration of a black shepherd-type dog standing at a crossroads path with multiple direction choices, representing decision-making and flexibility in business.
Sometimes too many options create stress, delays, and hidden mental load.

The Hidden Work Behind “No Rush”

On the surface, offering someone multiple dates or saying “no problem, let me know what suits you” sounds simple enough.

But often, what sits underneath that is:

  • mentally holding diary space,
  • checking emails repeatedly,
  • waiting for confirmation,
  • keeping conversations half-open in your head,
  • delaying other plans “just in case”,
  • and carrying around a task that technically isn’t finished.

That’s the hidden workload people rarely talk about.

The practical task may only take five minutes.
The mental load can last days.

Too Many Options Can Create More Delays

Sometimes, flexibility actually makes decision-making harder.

When people are offered endless alternatives, no urgency, and no clear next step, decisions can drift.

You follow up.
You check in.
You offer another time.
Then another.
Then another.

Meanwhile, the task remains mentally active for you the entire time.

I recently found myself in exactly that position.

A customer was struggling to confirm a suitable call time, so I offered several alternatives and tried to be as accommodating as possible.

But 24 hours later, there was still no confirmed time.
No confirmed call link.
No clear decision.

And I realised something important:

I had spent far too much mental energy holding space for something that still hadn’t actually moved forward.

Self-Employment Makes This Harder

When you work for yourself, you don’t have separate departments managing schedules, follow-ups, or client communication.

You are the system.

Which means unresolved decisions don’t just sit in a shared inbox somewhere.

They sit with you.

They follow you into the next task.
The next meeting.
Sometimes even into your evenings and weekends.

That’s why boundaries around time and decision-making matter far more in self-employment than many people realise.

Because every open loop takes energy.

Flexibility Shouldn’t Mean Constant Availability

There’s a difference between being supportive and becoming permanently “on standby.”

And many self-employed people accidentally slide into that habit because they genuinely want to help.

We worry about appearing difficult.
We don’t want to inconvenience people.
We want to provide good service.

But constantly reshuffling yourself around uncertain decisions can quietly become exhausting.

Especially when it happens repeatedly.

Clarity Is Kinder Than Endless Flexibility

Ironically, people often make decisions faster when there’s structure.

A clear deadline.
A limited set of choices.
A simple next step.

Too much flexibility can sometimes create hesitation rather than progress.

And that’s something I’m learning to get better at myself.

Not by becoming rigid or difficult — but by recognising that my time and mental capacity matter too.

It Only Took Action When It Suited Me

Eventually, I stopped waiting for the situation to resolve itself.

I stopped mentally hovering over it.

And I simply took action at a time that worked for me.

The moment I did that, the mental weight lifted almost immediately.

Not because the task disappeared.
But because the uncertainty did.

Final Thoughts

Flexibility is valuable.

It helps businesses feel human.
It builds relationships.
It can create a much better customer experience.

But flexibility without boundaries can quietly become overwhelming.

Especially when you work for yourself.

Because your energy, focus, and mental capacity are resources too.

And protecting those resources isn’t selfish.

It’s part of running a sustainable business.

Ready to make your business work your way?

If this article has sparked an idea, highlighted a challenge, or simply made you stop and think, let’s have a chat. I offer a free, no-obligation discovery call where we can explore what’s working well, what’s getting in your way, and whether I can help you save time and create systems that fit the way you work.

👉 Book your free discovery call here: https://tidycal.com/3zd5zj1/blog-discovery-call-clone20250506083047