Have you ever found yourself doing something in a particular way simply because that’s how everyone else expects it to be done? Learning to approach tasks your own way can make life and business much easier.
Or perhaps you’ve spent ages discussing something when, deep down, you already knew what you wanted to do.
We all have different ways of approaching tasks, making decisions and dealing with situations.
What works brilliantly for one person might be completely wrong for another.
And what works in one situation might not be the best approach in another.
The important thing is recognising what works for you.
Sometimes you need to change your approach
When we were planning a holiday to the Isles of Scilly, we needed to organise our accommodation.
Now, having organised group holidays before, I knew how easily something relatively straightforward could turn into endless discussions.
Trying to get everyone together on one call to discuss the options was a nightmare!
So this time, we decided to approach things differently.
We found three suitable accommodation options and gave everyone 48 hours to tell us which they preferred.
We also explained that if we hadn’t heard back, we’d make the decision and book the accommodation ourselves.
And guess what?
It worked!
I think we’d booked the accommodation within three days.
Everyone had the opportunity to contribute, but we didn’t spend weeks trying to get everyone together or waiting for a decision.
We simply approached the task in a way that worked for us.
It reminded me that when you approach tasks your own way, something complicated can suddenly become much simpler.
Not everyone works the way you do
I’ve experienced this in business too.
I once had a client whose attitude, expectations and lack of respect for my time and boundaries made working together increasingly difficult.
It wasn’t simply a case of having different ways of working.
Those differences were affecting how I felt about the work and taking up far more of my headspace than they should have.
Eventually, I made the decision to stop working with them.
And do you know what?
I felt so much lighter afterwards.
It wasn’t about proving who was right or wrong.
It was about recognising that the working relationship didn’t suit me.
I could have continued trying to accommodate their expectations, but at what cost?
Sometimes the right approach isn’t finding another way to make something work.
Sometimes it’s recognising that it isn’t working and doing something about it.
An invitation doesn’t have to be a group decision
We’ve also changed how we approach organising trips with friends.
Rather than trying to find something that everyone wants to do, Tom and I decide what we’d like to do first.
Then we invite other people to join us.
“We’re booking this. Would you like to come?”
It’s a straightforward invitation.
People can say yes if it appeals to them or no if it doesn’t.
We’re not asking everyone to agree on where we should go, when we should travel or what we should do.
We’re simply sharing our plans and giving them the opportunity to join us.
Of course, there are occasions when you need to make decisions together.
But not every plan needs to become a group project!
And there’s nothing wrong with making your own plans and inviting others along for the ride.
Don’t invite debate when you don’t need it
This is something I think we can all benefit from remembering.
If you’ve already made a decision, why invite a discussion about whether it’s the right one?
Sometimes we find ourselves explaining our choices, asking for opinions or looking for reassurance when we’ve already decided what we want to do.
But you don’t always need other people’s approval.
You don’t need someone else to agree with your decision to make it the right decision for you.
And you certainly don’t need to justify every choice you make.
There’s a difference between asking for advice because you genuinely want another perspective and asking for approval because you’re worried about what someone else might think.
If a decision affects other people, then of course their needs and feelings may need to be considered.
But when it’s your decision to make?
Make it.
You can listen to other people’s opinions without allowing them to dictate your choices.
You can’t please everyone
This is particularly important when you’re running your own business.
It’s natural to want to help people, provide a good service and keep your clients happy.
But that doesn’t mean you have to agree to everything.
Your approach won’t suit every client.
Your working hours won’t suit everyone.
And your decisions won’t always be the ones other people would make.
That’s OK.
The same applies outside business.
You don’t have to organise your life around everyone else’s preferences.
You can be considerate without constantly compromising what works for you. After all, there comes a point when being too flexible becomes a problem.
Doing what’s right for you isn’t the same as deliberately making things difficult for someone else.
And trying to please everyone can leave you feeling as though you’re pleasing nobody, particularly yourself.
Take control of what you can
When you approach tasks your own way, you can take more control of your time, headspace and energy.
There are plenty of things we can’t control.
We can’t control how other people behave, what they think or how they respond to our decisions.
But we can take more control of how we approach situations.
For me, three things are particularly important.
Your time
How much time are you spending on things that could be handled more simply? Are you planning around your own needs, or constantly adjusting your time to suit everyone else?
Could you make a decision rather than having another meeting?
Could you set a deadline rather than waiting indefinitely?
Could you approach a task differently and save yourself hours of unnecessary work?
Your headspace
Sometimes a situation takes up far more room in our thoughts than it deserves.
We replay conversations.
We wonder whether we’ve made the right decision.
We worry about what other people might think.
And all that thinking takes energy.
Sometimes making a decision and moving forward is exactly what we need to free up some of that headspace.
Your feelings
This one is a work in progress for me!
I recognise that I can’t always control how something makes me feel.
And I’d love to say that other people’s behaviour never affects my mood, but that wouldn’t be true.
What I am learning is to recognise those feelings and think about how I respond.
I can’t control someone else’s attitude.
But I can decide whether I want to continue putting myself in a situation that’s making me unhappy.
And I can work on not allowing someone else’s behaviour to dictate how I feel for the rest of the day.
It’s not always easy.
But recognising it is a start.
Being honest with yourself
I think one of the most important things we can do is recognise what actually works for us.
Not what we think should work.
Not what works for somebody else.
And not what we feel other people expect us to do.
What genuinely works for us.
Sometimes that means taking charge and making a decision.
Sometimes it means inviting other people to contribute.
Sometimes it means changing how we approach a task.
And sometimes it means accepting that something, or someone, simply isn’t the right fit.
There’s no single right or wrong way to approach every situation.
The trick is recognising which approach suits you and having the confidence to use it.
What approach suits you?
The next time you’re faced with a task or decision, ask yourself:
Am I approaching this in a way that works for me, or am I making it more complicated than it needs to be?
You don’t have to do things the way everyone else does.
You don’t always need agreement.
And you certainly don’t need approval for every decision you make.
Be considerate of others, but don’t forget to consider yourself.
Because being honest about what works for you can lead to a happier you.
And after all, it’s your time.
Shouldn’t you get to spend it your way?
Learning to approach tasks your own way isn’t about ignoring everyone else. It’s about recognising what works for you